书籍 Attached的封面

Attached

Amir Levine

出版时间

2012-01-04

ISBN

9781585429134

评分

★★★★★
书籍介绍

We rely on science to tell us everything from what to eat to when and how long to exercise, but what about relationships? Is there a scientific explanation for why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle? According to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, the answer is a resounding "yes." In "Attached," Levine and Heller reveal how an understanding of adult attachment-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:

*Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back

*Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.

*Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. In this book Levine and Heller guide readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

Amir Levine, M.D. is an adult, child, and adolescent psychiatrist and neuroscientist. He graduated from the residency program at New York Presbyterian Hospital/Columbia University and for the past few years Amir has been conducting neuroscience research at Columbia under the mentorship of Nobel Prize Laureate Eric Kandel. Amir also has a passion for working with patients and it...

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用户评论
Activated attachment system is not love.
现代心理学救人于水火系列。摊呀推荐的!
know yourself~
可以skim through的一本书 用自己的经历和书上的道理cross reference 还蛮豁然开朗的。不过感情这回事终究知难行易 但清楚意识到自己是secure型还挺增加自信心&感恩爸妈的。但像李银河老师所说 爱情终究还是小概率幸运事件 那作为一个hopeless romantic 只能尽量提升自我/认清自己 当那个人出现的时候 不至于因为自己的低情商和personal mess而毁了珍贵的亲密关系
:无
沒想到作者之前給Tom Friedman打過工lol 距離和c把話講開近一個月看完了,非常唏噓,還記得開始翻這本書時還在為c情緒起起伏伏,給同事小姊姊打電話難過到哭出來,是她推薦了這本書,她說「他只是攪動了妳的情緒,而你以為上上下下的過山車感覺叫做愛情」還記得她說出這句話的時候我正在和c爬山,正在為他不等我感到失落,後來書裡竟然有一模一樣的例子證明我碰到了回避型。上星期回到office後發現和c完全做不成朋友,起先以為是我們的問題後來發現他對誰都很distant,也就有需要才會主動去approach,所以再回想之前跟他竟然能發展到互相分享心事的關係更覺得不可思議。但是,看完這本書,「宿命」感更強烈了,「緣分天註定」這話是有科學依據的,愛跨不過原生家庭的坎,即使我對c還有留戀也不會再做什麼了。
Don’t wait until “the one” who fits your checklist shows up and then expect everything to fall into place. Make them into your soul mate by choosing them out of the crowd.
花了一个月把这本Attached看完了,算是今年受益最大的一本书。看之前觉得自己肯定是secure类型,精神和经济都独立(在纽约每天吃喝玩乐情绪能不稳吗)但最近发现有一些anxious和avoidant型行为和想法,书里提供的建议都挺好。甚至后半本书有个故事和我最近遇到的最大的问题连名字和情节都一模一样,惊呆哈哈哈。
2022.5.7 @ Chicago 有更了解自己了解这个世界 原来我一直在重复着一些pattern啊跳出来看清之后 好像心里轻松很多
照理说这种书我以前都是不屑读的,不过我现在发现有些时候保持开放的心态一些很简单直白的语言就可以破除很多思想上的误区,看完发现很多tips和perspective都相当有用……过好日常生活提升relationship( any types )不需要钻在那些高深莫测的抽象概念的牛角尖里。